Don’t Buy The Nintendo Switch!

Don’t Buy The Nintendo Switch!

The Nintendo Switch promises to be the next big ticket Nintendo item, with amazing configuration abilities and portable prowess. It’s the next logical step in Nintendo’s ever present effort to break down the walls of home gaming and on-the-move enjoyment, accessible to casual and hardcore alike with a broad spectrum of appeal that cannot be matched.

But what if…we didn’t buy it?

Seriously, guys, I have thought this through. We stand at the cusp of a new era of on-the-go entertainment. An age of swap-n-play adaptation expressed through peripherals, is right around the corner, and we have every opportunity to be the ones forging into the new frontier.

So let’s… not. Think about it, we have decades of experience with this cycle now, and we may even be old and wise enough to take action for our own benefit. Sure, we can be early adopters, get our Day 1 special matte black, leather Mario cap, tasteful nude Reggie Fils-Aimé photograph ultra limited edition – play until our fingers bleed and tell all the other kids on the school yard just how much of a nugget stomper we truly are…

Or.

We could just stop and think about this. Let’s look at Nintendo’s history.

Something fairly innocuous, maybe – like the Nintendo Entertainment System? What was that followed by? A SUPER Nintendo.

Remember the Gameboy family?

What about the Wii? And the Wii U?

Does Nintendo DS ring a bell? Nintendo DS lite? Nintendo DSi? Nintendo DSi XL?

Nintendo doesn’t even hide this information from us! They display it proudly in timelines! Look!

What about the Nintendo 3DS? The 3DS XL? The *NEW* Nintendo 3DS XL?? Hell, some of these new releases happened LESS THAN A YEAR after a particular system dropped!

What I am saying is simple. We can save ourselves some money and get a really sound investment by spending one very standard resource.

Time.

The Nintendo Switch Lite is a sure thing. We can simply wait a tiny amount of time and guarantee ourselves a superior console. I don’t need an uncle that works at Nintendo to know that for a nominal price increase we will likely get:

  • Increased battery lifespan
  • Greater range wireless peripherals
  • Brighter, higher resolution screen
  • A wider range of colours
  • Swappable cosmetic panels
  • A Z-Stick
  • Greater 3D capabilities
  • Front and rear facing cameras
  • USB 5.0 ports
  • A new Mario game
  • 10% on your car insurance premiums
  • Power glove backwards compatibility
  • A headphone jack

It’s a no brainer, we would not be waiting more than 4 and a half months for such a thing – there are already leaks on the Internet on how the console would look, so development is more than underway:

So let’s make gaming history, it’s time to wake up sheeple – let’s take control of our finances and look to a brighter future where the companies that feed us entertainment aren’t laughing at our excitement. Say ‘NO MORE’ and stand united for a brighter tomorrow! March to your local EB Games, and tell them you aren’t pre-ordering a Nintendo Switch! Ask for a Nintendo Switch LITE instead.

Or…maybe we should wait for the Nintendo Switch XL. Hmm.

I’ll get back to you on this one.

Known throughout the interwebs simply as M0D3Rn, Ash is bad at video games. An old guard gamer who suffers from being generally opinionated, it comes as no surprise that he is both brutally loyal and yet, fiercely whimsical about all things electronic. On occasion will make a youtube video that actually gets views. Follow him on YouTube @Bad at Video Games