Sometimes video game journalism is dirty work. Sometimes you need to roll up your sleeves, get your hands dirty with popcorn grease, and ask the hard questions:
“Can you wear the Shao Kahn popcorn Helmet?”
This is my query this day as the very real release of the Mortal Kombat II film looms. I am quite sure I am going to enjoy the film, but what of the trimmings? What of the plastic guff and gaff that can be purchased alongside a ticket to the blood fiesta? If they are making a popcorn bucket based off a helmet, can I fit my enormous cranium inside it?
And lo, the truth weighs heavy on me as I report the following tragic reality.
It’s too fucking small.
There is something deeply funny about seeing that wide grin and happy eyes peering through the cheek holes, but a Shao Kahn that does not make.
Many a punter has thrown this thing on their bonce in the hopes of becoming the next ruler of the fictional realm of Outworld. Sadly, their dreams were cut down by the grim reality that the popcorn container seems more suited to either someone with a tiny head – or a large child (that ironically would not be old enough to even view the film).
Some further noble souls gave up their hard earned cash (in this economy!?) to test the concept and similarly come up short:
Comment
byu/HiddenTreasure213 from discussion
inMortalKombat
This furthers my own personal beef with gimmicky popcorn containers. Hear me now: They are the adult equivalent of a Macca’s Happy Meal Toy, without the common decency of costing less than a cup of coffee. The fact that some marketing think-tank somehow managed to agree on a HELMET design, but fell short of IT SHOULD FIT ON A PERSON’S HEAD is a tragedy.
Some comments try and justify this goofiness with the near-sighted logic of “WeLL It FiTs On ThE MeTaL PoPcOrN ConTaiNer” – but again, I SAY NAY. Priorities people. A thing with a purpose should fit that purpose. And my head.
So yeah, that’s the hard truth of the Shao Kahn popcorn gimmick. It doesn’t fit on a regular sized head. Do with this information as you will. In my case, I will consider the concerning truth that I do have two children with smaller sized heads – and a wife with just enough patience to consider it a laugh for a short while.
Known throughout the interwebs simply as M0D3Rn, Ash is bad at video games. An old guard gamer who suffers from being generally opinionated, it comes as no surprise that he is both brutally loyal and yet, fiercely whimsical about all things electronic. On occasion will make a youtube video that actually gets views. Follow him on YouTube @Bad at Video Games
