December 1 – Inscryption (Switch)
December 2 – The Callisto Protocol (PS5/PS4/Xbox Series X|S/Xbox One/PC)
December 2 – Marvel’s Midnight Suns (PS5/PS4/Xbox Series X|S/Xbox One/Switch/PC)
December 2 – Need for Speed Unbound (PS5/Xbox Series X|S/PC)
December 6 – Dwarf Fortress (PC)
December 9 – Choo-Choo Charles (PC)
December 9 – Dragon Quest Treasure (Switch/PC)
December 13 – Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion (PS5/PS4/Xbox Series X|S/Xbox One/Switch/PC)
December 13 – High on Life (Xbox Series X|S/Xbox One/PC)
December 14 – The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Complete Edition (PS5/Xbox Series X|S)
December 16 – Aery – Path of Corruption (Xbox Series X|S/Xbox One/Switch/PC)
December 22 – Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth (PS5/PS4)
December 22 – Naraka: Bladepoint (Xbox One)
It’s that time of year where Santa dons his night-vision goggles and slips silently down your chimney while you sleep. His well-trained hand noiselessly pulls a silenced 9mm pistol from the impressive waistband of a pair of bright red fur-trimmed jorts as he makes his way to your room. He has his target. He will not miss. Just another silent night for the world’s jolliest assassin. Or at least I think that’s how the story of Christmas goes, I think Jesus is in there too somewhere…
James
Not gonna lie folks, after several months of semi-cute introductions to Jorts, this December I find myself out of words but with the proverbial jorts quite plump. So you’ll forgive me the clumsy intro as we prepare our prawns and wipe that little bit of extra custard from our chins. Papetura is possibly the most visually arresting of the December lineup, boasting an unnervingly beautiful paper aesthetic. Pape and Tura are set loose in this single-handedly crafted paper world that has taken about six years to put together. An impressive bit of technical magic on the developer’s part, and if the game is even half as good as its incredible vibes, we’re in for a treat. Elsewhere Kynseed is at long last emerging from its early-access cocoon and with years of refinement and community input behind it, this farming sim-action-adventure-romance-a-villager experience should be a delight. Afterglitch has made the cut for me simply because its obscure teaser features an astronaut on some kind of cosmic beach and that’s all the Death Stranding hook I need.
Swinging wildly in the other direction we have Lil Gator Game, an offensively cute game about a little alligator living his best island life and helping the locals with various wholesome tasks. I’m getting big A Short Hike vibes from this one, as traversal and general art direction seem akin to that 2019 masterpiece. While old mate Nathan of Well hyphen Played dot com has been filling up on Square Enix JRPGs for most of the year, I’ve barely found the time to even glance at one until Valkyrie Profile Lenneth. This is technically a port of the PSP remake of the first game in the long-running VP series, but having a chance to play it on my PS5 over the holiday season is pretty high on my wish list. Rounding things out is Highwater, an absolutely stunning turn-based strategy/adventure game about a group of friends navigating a flooded world. From art direction to tone to mechanics this looks incredible, the only thing that has me worried is its nebulous ‘Dec 2022’ date. Well, that and rising sea levels. Happy holidays!
Mark
So, we’re at the end of the year and…wait, we’re at the end of the year? Where the hell did it go?! It felt like just yesterday I was talking about February Jorts…
Anyway, where was I? December normally tosses out a few last minute half-decent suggestions for the Christmas stocking (no Just Cause sequel this year, though), but it seems as though a few heavy hitters didn’t get the memo for 2022, which means my increasingly long list of the year’s best might yet grow a little longer. The hope, of course, is that Square Enix can deliver a worthwhile rebuild of Crisis Core, one of the better Final Fantasy VII spin-offs of yesteryear, but they have had a mixed track record of late so…yeah, who knows at this point? Updated visuals aside, it’ll be interesting to see whether the narrative gets a modern spin in the same form of FF7R or sticks more closely to the original take, but either way it’ll be good to see Zack get the spotlight once more and now, finally, my PSP can rest. You did good boy, you did good.
I’m also curious about Dragon Quest Treasures, which looks like another solid adventure in a franchise that has far more hits than misses. Lastly, a quick shoutout for some more quality indies, as Choo-Choo Charles looks ridiculous in all the right ways and could easily compete with Callisto Protocol for scariest game of the month, Switch owners will finally get the chance to play the brilliant Inscryption (no more excuses, go play it!), and fan-favourite Dwarf Fortress returns with a new lick of paint. All-in-all, a fantastic way to round out an excellent year, even if we still don’t have a Metroid Prime 4 release date…
Nathan
There’s a dwarf in my jorts tent this December. While my tight blues are a little more spacious this month, there are still good times to be had. Starting with Dwarf Fortress, this decades-old procedurally generated, emergent storytelling imsim manager (what a mouthful) is finally leaving its ascii roots and getting a graphical interface in the upcoming Steam release. If these dwarves aren’t mining my diamonds, then the cutsey crew in Dragon Quest Treasures looks up to the task. What looks like an action-adventure in the humorous DQ universe might be just the palate cleanser I need after a year of pretty average Square releases. If the DQ puns don’t get me laughing, I’m hoping that Justin Roiland and Co have been able to translate their laughs to video games once again with their first-person shooter comedy High On Life. To be honest, though, I’m a little bit exhausted and need to switch my brain off. Need For Speed can typically pull this off with its satisfying arcade racing and silly story. With an anime-styled aesthetic and the legendary A$AP Rocky on the joint, here’s hoping Need For Speed Unbound is a high point for the series. Until next year, don’t get those denims too dirty.
