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Jorts

Tight in the Jorts: October 2021 Edition

October is a Far Cry from a quiet month

October 1st – Phoenix Point (PS4/Xbox One)

October 5th – Alan Wake Remastered (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S/PC)

October 5th – Hell Let Loose (PS5/Xbox Series X|S)

October 6th – Art of Rally (PS4/PS5)

October 7th – Far Cry 6 (PS4/PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S, PC)

October 8th – Metroid Dread (Switch)

October 8th – Tetris Effect: Connected (Switch)

October 12th – Disco Elysium: The Final Cut (Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S)

October 12th – Back 4 Blood (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S/PC)

October 15th – NHL 22 (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S)

October 15th – Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S/PC)

October 15th – Crysis Remastered Trilogy (PS4/Xbox One/Switch/PC)

October 20th – Gloomhaven (PC)

October 22nd – The Dark Pictures Anthology (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S/PC)

October 26th – Darkest Dungeon 2 (PS4/Xbox One/Switch/PC/PS Vita)

Guardians of the Galaxy (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S, PC, Switch)

October 27th – Pumpkin Jack (PS5/Xbox Series X|S)

October 28th – Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water (PS4/PS5/Xbox One/Xbox Series X|S/PC)

October 28th – Voice of Cards: The Isle of Dragon Roars (PS4/Switch/PC)

October 28th – Age of Empires IV (PC)

October 29th – Mario Party Superstars (Switch)

Time to wash those jorts, irradiate them to make sure they’re not covered in coronavirus, march down to your local pharmacy and get vaccinated, because you need to make sure the spookiest thing happening this month is me emerging from my virus shelter on October 26th.  Crawling out from my subterranean bunker safe space, I’ll squint at the harsh Melburnian sun that I haven’t seen for over 200 days, pale as a ghost, my limbs weak from months of inactivity and doom scrolling, scaring children with my ghoulish countenance. Vitamin D partially restored, I’ll then quickly return to my bunker because these bloody games are going to play themselves now are they? Or maybe they will…spooky…

The Big Nae Nae

It’s the spooky month again. I struggle to sleep. Am easily disturbed. Very often surprised. Incredibly anxious. My jorts don’t quite fit after months of lockdown, and I’m panicking as to how I will once again try and cram so many good times up my schedule. I’m feeling a little burnt out and missing my weekly Gloomhaven: Jaws of the Lion board game sessions. Thankfully, OG Gloomhaven is getting a behemoth digital treatment coming to Steam on October 20. A title with similar dungeon-crawling board game flair but with a focus on the psychological maintenance of adventurers, Darkest Dungeon 2’s Early Access is preparing to enter the depths of the Epic Store on October 26. It appears Yoko Taro is surprise dropping a card-driven adventure on October 28 called Voice of Cards: The Isle of Dragon Roars. I have no idea what it’s about, but it’s the enigmatic wildcard himself and it’s coming to pretty well all platforms. Perhaps the greatest fright of all is the tiny number of hours in the day. After a dreadfully long wait, how does one squeeze in a new core Metroid (October 8, Switch) while also wanting to knock over another Ubisoft theme park checklist in Far Cry 6 on the 7th, bump knuckles with Groot in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy on the 26th, and squeeze in a heart attack courtesy of the Switch port of Fatal Frame: Maiden of the Black Water on October 28!

Kieron Ver-booooo-gge

It’s time to don your spookiest jorts, because October is here and this year it’s packed full of more hot video game releases than a carry bag full of bulk buy candy on the night of the 31st. Far Cry 6 and Metroid Dread start the month off strong with long-awaited sequels to hit franchises, but there are at least a couple brand-new properties that I’m excited to get my skeletal hands around – Yoko Taro’s Voice of Cards: The Isle of Dragon Roars made a very strong impression on me in its just-released demo, for one. I’m also quietly keen to check out Square Enix and Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy purely because it’s a slick-looking single player action adventure and has a space dog in it. That’s a winning combo if you ask me.

Hollyween

It’s spooktober and boy are we getting some treats. My jorts will be a little tight after all the amazing games and candy I will have received by the end of October. Kicking off the month is Australian-developed Hell Let Loose which luckily enough is coming to PS Plus this month on October 5. How could I avoid Chorizo the game, where you play as the small but plucky sausage dog. After a few release delays, Far Cry 6 will be in our hands on the 6th, and I can’t wait to take on famous actor Giancarlo Esposito. But what could be more perfect for spooktober than the impending threat of zombies? Back 4 Blood is bringing back that Left 4 Dead zombie slaying mayhem on the 12th, and my body is ready. Continuing down the dark and scary path, the next instalment of The Dark Pictures Anthology, House of Ashes is sure going to test my ability to keep my jorts clean. Finally I want to check out Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy, jamming to awesome tunes and hanging out with my telepathic Russian best friend, Cosmo the Spacedog.

Bianca-Boo

First time in my brand new jorts for my favourite scary time of year! Forget those lollies and choccies in my Halloween basket because all I’m thinking about are those sweet, sweet new releases. Looking forward to finally completing Alan Wake after starting to play the original earlier this year and realising my childhood fear of the dark is still brewing in my subconscious (oops). I’m ready to be hopefully blown away again by the amazing visuals and sounds of Tetris Effect: Connected on the Switch, which I admittedly lost hours of my life to on Xbox with my stubbornness and incoordination. Dark Pictures: House of Ashes will definitely test my bravery and I can’t wait to see my girl Sharpay Evans (Ashley Tisdale, for those playing at home) hopefully become an amazing Final Girl. And last but certainly not least, I can’t contain my excitement for Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy – everything from the fresh looks of these iconic heroes that I love, its killer soundtrack and its adorable space pupper makes my heart race hoping Square Enix has finally nailed a great single-player title.

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