Tight in the Jorts: May 2017 Edition

Tight in the Jorts: May 2017 Edition

Jorts. Half jeans. Half shorts. Half uncomfortable tightness for the sake of fashion. We’ve all worn them and know of the dangers of getting too excited while sporting a pair. Uncomfortable tightness can become dangerous blood flow constriction in the blink of an eye with the right stimulus. Every month we’ll let you know what games threaten the structural integrity of our collective jorts, feel free to chime in.

May 5th: AFL Evolution (PS4/Xbox One)

May 5th: Dreamfall Chapters (PS4/Xbox One)

May 5th: Prey (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

May 5th: World to the West (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

May 6th: Syberia 3 (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

May 12th: Puyo Puyo Tetris (Switch)

May 16th: The Surge (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

May 17th: Farpoint (PSVR)

May 17th: Injustice 2 (PS4/Xbox One)

May 18th: Portal Knights (PS4/Xbox One)

May 20th: Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (3DS)

May 23rd: Darksiders: Warmastered Edition (Wii U)

May 23rd: Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception (PS4)

May 26th: Disgaea 5 Complete (Switch)

May 26th: Get Even (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

May 26th: RiME (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

May 26th: Samurai Warriors: Spirit of Sanada (PS4)

May 26th: Ultra Street Fighter II: The Final Challengers (Switch)

May 30th: Star Trek: Bridge Crew (PSVR)

We’re almost halfway through the year, and we’ve already had a ludicrous amount of quality releases that have tested even the most durable of denim garments. Leading up to E3, May doesn’t have too many heavy hitters, but it’ll be a sneaky month with perhaps a couple of sleeper hits so keep an eye on it. Here’s what the teams is getting their janties in a bunch about this month.

May, much like April, is a month that is full of titles that are sure to create some tension in the denim-clad nether region, and it’s hard to say which title will threaten my jorts’ structural integrity the most. What I do know is that the tightness will be felt early doors, with two big titles releasing in the first week of May. Both Prey and AFL Evolution drop on May 5th. Prey is arguably the biggest title (globally) releasing in May, and I am genuinely keen to see how Arkane Studios reboot one of my favourite FPS from my gaming years of yore. However, on the other hand, I am extremely keen to get my tight little footy jorts on and play a current-gen iteration of our nation’s great game. If you’re north of Victoria you probably don’t give two shits about the AFL, to which I say: rugby sucks. The Surge is another title that has me coloured keen. Usually I am not one for hack ‘n’ slash RPG games in the ilk of Dark Souls, but The Surge’s premise has me intrigued. The game that has my zipper bursting at the seams the most this month is Get Even. I previewed the third-person psychological shooter back in March, and its intriguing premise and blend of thriller and action elements have me convinced that it can be a sleeper/cult hit this year (read: most likely to disappoint everyone and get sub 60% on OpenCritic).

Injustice 2. Prey. A perfect storm of beat downs and mystical weirdness in space. Prey admittedly slipped off my radar, right until I completed Dishonored 2, and was hungry for more. Hearing about the collaborative development between Bethesda and Arkane Studios had me quivering with excitement in all the places I enjoy a good quiver. And the gameplay footage? I can literally use my magic space powers to take the form of an ordinary COFFEE MUG? How could I possibly resists? I can’t, it’s that simple.

The original Injustice 1 was a sleeper hit for me – a super polished beat-em-up fighter with every spandex-clad clown and weirdo having a righteous biffo. The amount of effort that is going into Injustice 2 has me more than just excited for it – but what could lie beyond it for when NetherRealm eventually start development on a new Mortal Kombat title? They are creatures of iteration, and they only seem to get better. Every. Single. Time.

Bonus points for Darksiders: Warmastered Edition finally finding its way to Wii U. Let’s see a sequel to Darksiders II already!

April had what turned out to be one of my favourite release this year in Persona 5. That game alone made me happy for the month, but that time has come and gone and onwards into May do we go. First of all, we have the first Nioh DLC, Dragon of the North which releases on May 2nd. I was a massive fan of Nioh. I loved everything from its setting and its historical accuracy to its fast-paced and deep combat. It offered everything that I wanted, so an expansion will definitely be welcomed by me. Next up we have Prey. I haven’t paid an incredible amount of attention to this game, but it’s made by Arkane so it’s fairly safe to assume it’ll be a solid game. The Surge looks a little promising, but Deck 13’s last game, Lords of the Fallen fell flat in many ways so I’m going to remain cautiously optimistic for it. Last but not least, we have RiME. This game has had me intrigued for a little while and its art style has definitely garnered my attention. It’s a bit of a bummer that I won’t be able to play it at launch on my Switch, as it really does seem like an awesome game to take on the go. Hopefully it turns out to be good!

Because I’m a beer-swilling, thong-wearing Aussie bloke there’s only one game I’m tight for this month. I’m not even going to say what game it is because all the other games suck hard in comparison. All right, because it may not be so obvious which game is the most Aussie, I’ll tell you. It’s Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. It’s definitely AFL Evolution. Whilst most of the previous games have been bloody awful there’s always been something extremely fun about them that made them far more enjoyable than more refined titles. I will be getting this day one and spending weeks, nay months, beating Zach because he’s junk. Super junk.

The huge rush of most anticipated games are over. I still haven’t even finished Persona 5 and don’t plan to anytime soon. Plus I still have Nier: Automata and Nioh to dive into while ignoring Mass Effect: Andromeda, as Horizon: Zero Dawn and Zelda took up even more time (not that I regret it of course). Thankfully, the only game I really want to play is Prey, and that does not seem to be as time-consuming and as life-taxing as all of the above. Prey speaks to me in a lot of ways. It’s from the same studio who made my beloved Dishonored series albeit with a different team. However, they seem to be taking a few design philosophies over such as intricate level design and freedom of gameplay. Plus I am dying for a new Bioshock and this will hopefully settle that hunger… briefly.

I will also give RiME a go. I do not know much about it outside the original trailer that was shown off years ago, but the art style has me interested enough to at least check it out or read reviews. Farpoint is also the first VR game I’ll play since Resident Evil 7: Biohazard and I kind of miss it. However, I am more excited to get my hands on the new Aim controller bundled with the game rather than the game itself, but the latest trailer did look solid. Hopefully the controller will be a hit and bring more first person shooters to PlayStation VR.

Another month, another wallet beating.

May has some nifty niche titles up its sleeve that will suit a range of gamers on all platforms and jort sizes, especially JRPG fans. This month however, I am really only interested in getting my fight on once again with the second instalment of the Injustice franchise. I thoroughly enjoyed beating the shit out of Superman with my homeboy Aquaman on the PS3 (and then PS4) original.

Although my real passion is Tekken, a bit of Injustice 2 should be enough to tide me over until my true fighting game love returns a little later in the year.

Also, Fire Emblem: Shadows of Valentia looks really cool…if I actually had a 3DS to play it on.

My wallet has finally recovered after taking the month off in April but May has some absolute bangers. Prey has had me tight in the jorts ever since the E3 announcement last year (a dangerously long amount of time). I’m a huge fan of first-person games in general and am looking forward to getting immersed into the story aspects of the game. I also really like the concept; I get a solid Alien: Isolation vibe, and that can only be a good thing. If the recently released demo is anything to go by (and why wouldn’t it be?), then we are in for one hell of a game.

When I was a young lad, I always dreamed of commanding a mighty starship and banging hot aliens. The new Star Trek VR game, Bridge Crew, lets me do at least one of those things! When VR headsets become cheaper, I’ll pretty much be picking one up just for this game. The Fire Emblem remake, Shadows of Valentina, looks like a good time to get back into the series after the ‘eeeeh’ Fates, and Syberia 3 finally hits shelves! Steampunk adventuring, I missed you!

The game I mostly played in April was Mass Effect: Andromeda, but now my face is tired and I’m looking elsewhere for kicks. While I’d have to agree with my compatriots that Prey looks brilliant, these jorts of mine tear for but one game: The Surge. We’ve had multiple chats to director Jan Klose about his team’s big project, and I think they’ve learned some lessons from some of the weaker points of Lords of the Fallen (which Deck13 co-developed). I think it will manage to elevate itself above being just sci-fi Dark Souls, and maybe even manage to appease DYEGB’s Soulsborne banner-bearer Jordan Garcia, who thinks that platforming in the Dark Souls series is second to none, illusory walls are awesome and the Bed of Chaos is the one of the most well-crafted boss fights ever. I’ll be reviewing the game come release, so watch out for that.

What games are you looking forward to this May? Did we miss anything important coming out this month? Let us know in the comments below.