Jorts. Half jeans. Half shorts. Half uncomfortable tightness for the sake of fashion. We’ve all worn them and know of the dangers of getting too excited while sporting a pair. Uncomfortable tightness can become dangerous blood flow constriction in the blink of an eye with the right stimulus. Every month we’ll let you know what games threaten the structural integrity of our collective jorts, feel free to chime in.
Every year the blockbuster month of November can be guaranteed to deliver two things: bad moustaches and that unmistakable tightness of the jorts; the aesthetic combination is a veritable assault on the senses. No sooner than you’ve slipped your velcro wallet into your back pocket of your tastefully constrictive denim cutoffs will you be whipping it out again as your terrible moustache twitches at the sight of yet another AAA title. So put on your big boy jorts, this month’s a doozy.
November 4th: Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
November 4th: Football Manager 17 (PC)
November 10th: Robinson: The Journey (PSVR)
November 10th: PS4 Pro
November 11th: Dishonored 2 (PS4, Xbox One, PC)
November 15th: Watch Dogs 2 (PS4, Xbox One)
November 15th: Assassin’s Creed: The Ezio Collection (PS4, Xbox One)
November 18th: Pokemon Sun and Moon (3DS)
November 18th: Killing Floor 2 (PS4, PC)
November 29th: Final Fantasy XV (PS4, Xbox One)
November 29th: Watch Dogs 2 (PC)
November 29th: The Crew: Calling All Units (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
November is a huge month, with a myriad of games that could be added to my already gargantuan backlog, for which the only panacea is to add more games to it. However, this month there is a title that is the epitome of (me) being tight in the jorts. And that title is Dishonored 2. The first Dishonored is not only my favourite game of the PS3/XB360 generation, but it ranks amongst my favourite games of all-time. The game’s steampunk setting coupled with its choice of stealth or lethal gameplay approach and excellent story made it the real MVP of last generation. I’ll also be sporting a pair of dapper high-tech jorts as I traverse San Francisco’s hacker friendly playground in Watch Dogs 2, much to the disdain of some DYEGB members. My virtual reality jorts will be taken for a spin this month with the release of Robinson: The Journey, the one VR game I have been hanging out for since PS VR was announced. Other games that tickle my fancy are Football Manager 17, where the order of the day is more than kicking goals. Ubisoft’s The Crew: Calling All Units and Assassin’s Creed: The Ezio Collection may get a look in, but with the aforementioned titles all eating at my credit rating, it’s hard to see where these fit in. All in all, a severe tightness warning has been issued to my jorts.
November looks to be a little heavy on the wallet and offers some mild abuse to my jorts. Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare on November 4th actually has me interested as it looks like a better Halo game than Halo 5: Guardians. I wasn’t too big of a fan of the multiplayer beta, but I’m hoping the campaign delivers. Secondly, we have the PS4 Pro on November 10th. While normally I wouldn’t be too excited for this, seeing as my current PS4 is in a state of ‘I hate connecting to the Internet’ I the upgrade’s timing has proven to be auspicious. The following day Dishonored 2 drops, which is a massive release. I’ll more than likely pick this up as the first game was incredibly fun and this looks to be no different in that regard. Watch Dogs 2 has me intrigued, after being mildly disappointed with the original, I’m hoping that Ubisoft have learned from their mistakes and will deliver a great sandbox game. Finally we have Pokémon Sun and Moon on November 18th. This has to be the release which has me the tightest, being an avid Pokémon fan. I will definitely pick both versions up on day one and enjoy what weird creations The Pokémon Company have thought of this time.
Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. I am beyond pleased to have a month that will ideally destroy all of my waking moments with Hawaiian brilliance. I am jived and ready to greet new friends, old faces getting some Alola facelifts, and the Kahunas that want to crush my 10-year-old dreams into the sand. Pokemon Go has done a fantastic job in reinvigorating the crack-like addiction I possessed long ago in regards to catching them all – and somehow I have managed to avoid all the Pokedex leaks to guarantee my utter crushing disappointment when I finally see what awful forms my starter turns into. VIVE L’IGNORANCE.
I also eagerly anticipate Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare for all the wrong reasons. The utter contempt being generated towards it as the hate-train continues to pick up steam and barrel forth leaves me with a sense of bewilderment. I have never seen gamers unite with such common purpose – to try and hate something out of existence. I will likely play the game at some point, usually at the leisure of a friend lending me their copy to blast through what is often a fairly standard singleplayer experience that ticks enough boxes for me to actually want to play through it – but the truth is I am going to keep it on my radar just to see how the gaming public reacts when it finally materialises.
Normally a new Call of Duty is enough to set the old jorts atremble, but Infinite Wafare looks to be a bit of a mess and perhaps a low-point for the juggernaught series. While I’ll reserve my judgment for the full release, it’s going to have to pull out the big guns to contend with the brilliant Titanfall 2. Luckily there’s the guaranteed homerun that is Dishono(u)red 2 as well as Final Fantasy XV, so all is certainly not lost.
With the thread-count on my jorts tripled, I’m coming into November remembering what it was like to play the first Killing Floor after I managed to score it for a dollar on Steam. I’m definitely keen to get my grubby mitts on Killing Floor 2, and it will be interesting to see how they’ve managed to intensify gameplay by upping the graphics and making things a little bit harder. I’m also pretty pumped to stand in front of a PS4 Pro and listen to the voices in my head deciding whether I should buy it or not.
It’s my birthday month, and there are some whoppers this month. Pokémon Sun and Moon are looking pretty good and is the only game I’ll end up getting this month, Final Fantasy XV should satisfy the JRPG people out there, new Harvest Moon and Mario Party games, and Watch Dogs 2 is the sequel nobody asked for. Cult action game Darksiders gets a remaster this month, but I’m pretty worn out on remastered versions of games ending up crap. I’d say a little more, but I’m still playing Civilization VI.
Because it’s Aza’s birthday month my jorts are in a constant state of tightness. I’m also kind of keen on some games too. Watchdogs 2 has me intrigued and the same can be said for Football Manager 17. In saying that I’ve never invested more than 20 hours into a FM game for the pure reason that it takes patience and skill – neither of which I possess. My jorts are pretty tight for FFXV (it looks friggin’ sweet) but I have to say the majority of tightness comes from my purchase of a 3DS. I haven’t owned a Nintendo product since the N64, and with the release of Pokemon Sun and Moon and Harvest Moon (all dem sweet sweet moons) I’m tight. Really tight.
After what feels like an eternity of waiting in suitably uncomfortable jorts for Final Fantasy XV, it is almost hard to believe that after a decade (since the initial Versus XIII era) the game will finally see the light of day. This is not only my most anticipated game of the month, but also for the year. World of Final Fantasy was a glorious return to form for the series so fingers crossed the behemoth (geddit) that is XV will deliver as well. I was also a huge fan of Dishonored, so very interested to see where Arkane take the series next with two playable protagonists.
As for Infinite Warfare? My initial excitement has waned since playing the multiplayer beta to the point I will only be picking it up to return to the glory days of the original Modern Warfare (it would be no surprise if those MP lobbies were even more packed than those of Infinite). All in all, not a bad month and a good excuse to slapping on my Sunday-best jorts.
Big Lil Rizky
November is usually the BIG month for games. However, I feel November 2016 is lacking those massive hitters. Hell, this year is the first year I probably won’t be playing the Call of Duty campaign. That leaves only a couple I am really excited for while I use the rest of the month to catch up on what was a phenomenal October 2016. Dishonored 2 has been my most anticipated game of the year since Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End dropped. I still feel the original Dishonored has some of the best level design I have ever seen in a game and having played the clockwork mansion demo at EB Expo, I can confidently say Arkhane is doubling down on what worked well in the original (which was pretty much everything). As a new PSVR adopter I am also keen on Robinson: The Journey. Dinosaurs + CryEngine + VR sounds phenomenal and the game has been at the top of my PSVR most wanted list since last year. Crytek hasn’t had a great track record with quality games of late and this is the first game of this type for them (one that doesn’t require you to kill thing); it’s going to be interesting. Got to give the obligatory honourable mention to Pokemon Sun and Moon too because, Pokemon.