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Genital Jousting Leaves Early Access, Has A Tournament

Huhuhu, willies

I’m a dick. I’ve always been a dick. Erecting the courage I needed to grow some balls, and admit to being a dick just now, was a long and hard step that fortunately proved juicy. I feel an explosion of satisfaction, having finished all over this news piece. Peeling back my psyche to catch myself red-headed feels great, and you should try it too!

I’m making penis jokes. My career has peaked.

From developer Free Lives (Broforce, GORN), Genital Jousting is basically Mario Party minigames but you play as flaccid penises. It’s the latest step in Devolver Digital’s slow descent into publisher madness. The game’s been in early access for a while, but at long last it’s receiving a full release! If you ever wondered “I love making my friends uncomfortable, but what if I want to giggle at penises…with a story?”, you’re in luck! The game’s full release now includes a story mode and an Australian/Kiwi release. In Genital Jousting’s no doubt riveting story, you play as a wobbly cock called John. He seeks what every penis wants: Love. And you’re gonna help him find it!

A tournament has been called to celebrate the game’s release:

The game’s launch also ushers in a new era in esports as the first ever Genital Jousting Espurts World Championships will be broadcast live on Genital Jousting’s Steam page. Starting tonight, January 18 at 5:00PM Eastern, Devolver Digital and Free Lives will come together with some of the greatest Genital Jousting players in the world to put on an arousing display of skills not seen in any other competitive game. The broadcast will include competitive battles, story mode demonstrations, and free stuff because that’s what really gets the views.

Check out the tournament, or buy the game, on Steam. 

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Learn more about Genital Jousting on its official website.

Totally unrelated AC/DC song.

Written By Arana Judith

Arana blames her stunted social skills and her general uselessness on a lifetime of video games. Between her ears is a comprehensive Team Fortress 2 encyclopedia. Her brain remains at large.

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