Tight in the Jorts: December 2017 Edition

Tight in the Jorts: December 2017 Edition

This December we celebrate Jesus’s 2017th birthday, but more important than that we get to rip into Christmas noobs. If you’re not familiar with the concept, many people are opening multiplayer games (Call of Duty WWII if they were nice, Star Wars Battlefront II if they were naughty) on Christmas and playing them for the first time, resulting in a large proportion of fresh young fodder in games you’ve been playing for a lot longer. So do yourself a favour and ignore your family and bathe in the blood of newbies.

December’s looking a bit on the slim side in terms of new releases, but what are the DYEGB team looking to stuff in their denim stockings this festive season?

December 1st – Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Switch)

December 5th – Steep: Road to the Olympics (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

December 5th – Destiny 2: Curse of Osiris (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

December 5th – The Surge: A Walk In The Park (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

December 5th – Dead Rising 4: Frank’s Big Package (PS4)

December 7th – Spellforce 3 (PC)

December 8th – Hello Neighbour (Xbox One/PC)

December 9th – LocoRoco Remastered (PS4)

December 12th – Okami HD (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

December 12th – Resident Evil 7: Not A Hero (PS4/Xbox One/PC)

December 12th – PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds (Xbox One Game Preview)

December 12th – Fallout 4 VR (PC)

December 13th – Final Fantasy XV: Episode Ignis (PS4/Xbox One)

December 15th – Purrfect Date (PC)

After spending most of November playing the games from October that were added to my collection, I picked up NONE of the games I was keen for, but oh well. At least November had entertaining with the shit show that was Battlefront II, right? Anyway, we are at the end of the year so let’s try and finish on a high note, shall we?

First up for me this month is Xenoblade Chronicles 2. Oh boy does this game have me so tight in the jorts that it’s uncomfortable to sit here and type about how tight they are. I’ve never played any of the previous Xenoblade games, but they always intrigued me and from what I have heard, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 could very well topple Splatoon 2 as my favourite Switch game (that’s right, Mario Odyssey isn’t my favourite, fight me). Bring on Dec 1st!!! I guess it’s also the time for my obligatory “omg new Destiny content” as well, and while I am keen to see how Bungie handle Destiny 2’s first expansion, this scenario seems all too familiar so it would not surprise me if the expansion turned out to be a dud. Now the question is should I get it on PS4 or PC? Lastly is Okami HD. I never had a chance to play the original Okami, but after looking up the game when fellow DYEGB contributor Rizky showed me his Okami statue, I instantly fell in love. The art style is just outstanding and I cannot wait to give it a go come December 12th.

2017 has been one of my all-time favourite years in video games. It’s especially odd that December looks a little barren. Filled to the brim with ports and DLC, there isn’t too much that stands out to me but there are some gems out there.

The major release is Xenoblade Chronicles 2 for the Switch. I wasn’t a huge fan of X on the Wii-U due to its almost “MMO-like” design. X2 seems to focus more on story and characters, which is what I am all about. Now I am hoping to get that last power moon in Odyssey to clean my slate in time.


Bethesda’s dive into VR is looking promising now after the release of Skyrim VR. It makes me even more exciting that DOOM VFR set to launch on VR headsets is a whole new game set in the DOOM 2016 universe. I am keen to bring out the AIM controls and smash demons into a puddle of flesh.

Finally, it would be nice to have a brand new console exclusive to play on my fresh Xbox One X. PUBG looks like that kind of game. I don’t play video games on PC, so it’ll be a good opportunity to see what all the fuss is about in glorious 4K!

Here I was thinking I’d made it all the way to the end of the year with maybe enough time to spare to wipe clean some of the shameful backlog I’ve amassed in my jorts over the past twelve months, but yeah nah. Here comes a huge fuck-off JRPG sequel, a huge fuck-off JRPG remaster and an expansion to another huge fuck-off JRPG.

First up is Xenoblade Chronicles 2 which, mercifully, is on the Switch and thus can be played nearly any damn time I want. It’ll more than likely live inside my Switch (and my heart) for the next few months as I slowly chip away at in inbetween other games. I’ve been a huge fan of the ‘Xeno’ franchise since Xenogears on the PSX (and even stuck with it during those ‘formative’ Xenosaga years… yikes) and the series has made a nice home for itself on Nintendo platforms, so colour me bloody keen.

Then, of course, comes Okami HD. The PS4 will officially be the fourth platform that I’ve bought Okami for, and hopefully my fourth time completing the game. Honestly, it irks me a little at this point that Capcom are seemingly happy to keep re-releasing the game with minimal effort and with no desire to continue the series, but I’m a sucker for it all the same.

I’ll definitely be dropping everything for the last (for now) of the Final Fantasy XV expansions, Episode Ignis. While my dreams of a full VR cooking simulation with Ignis have been all but dashed and replaced with a dodgy fishing game (which I reviewed here) I can only hope that Episode Ignis keeps the momentum going from the excellent Episode Prompto.

More importantly than anything though – A HAT IN TIME FINALLY COMES TO CONSOLE THIS MONTH!!!

*elated noises, followed by the sounds of denim stretching and tearing

I don’t know how everyone else is feeling about releases this month, but upon first glance, the release list for this coming month seems pretty lacklustre.

In saying that however, upon closer inspection there are some definite gems that I’m excited to get my hands on. Right off the bat we have Spellforce 3 releasing on PC on the 7th, and whilst I’m not the biggest fan of the Spellforce series, this 3rd iteration looks fairly unique and I’m excited to see what it offers to the RTS/RPG genres.

Next up, we have Hello, Neighbor! Releasing on the Xbox One and PC on the 8th, and oh boy I am so ready to have a crack at this one. Since the title’s initial release announcements I have been eagerly waiting to get my hands on it because I am so attracted to its art style and I’m such a massive fan of first-person puzzle games.

Last on my list, and arguably the best release for December, is Purrfect Date which will be releasing on PC on the 15th. To anyone who’s bothered to read my bio, you’ll immediately know why I was drawn to this title, but for those unfamiliar, here’s a little run-down: Purrfect Date is a cross between a visual novel and a dating sim in which you (a human) will get to date cats in order to uncover the secrets of the mysterious Cat Island. Now, if that doesn’t scream purrfect to you, then I don’t know what to say! Trashy visual novels and dating sims are my forte, and there’s no doubt that I’ll be getting my paws on this one.

Sounding a little bit like a bad rom-com from the 90’s, the only games I’m actually excited for this month are 3 DLC’s and a re-make. I’d like to say that I’ll take advantage of December’s slim pickings to catch up on my backlog but that’d be a bold-faced lie and I don’t want to end up on Santa’s bad side this close to Christmas.

Just as Destiny 2 starts to fade away in my rear-view mirror, along comes the first paid expansion, Curse of Osiris. I’m a sucker for the lore in Destiny and this DLC promises to shed some light on one of the series most mysterious characters, Osiris. I’m hoping that with all the new content on offer, I can reunite my scattered clan and dedicate some time to once again kicking the crap out of the Vex.

I impulsively bought a PlayStation VR when it launched and spent the next few weeks feeling a little bit of buyer remorse. It wasn’t until I popped it on to play Resident Evil 7 that I realised just how amazing and terrifying it could be. The free expansion, Resident Evil 7: Not a Hero looks to be more action focused but with a returning fan favourite and full VR support I’m looking forward to jumping back in and soiling my jorts.

This month also sees the release of the Final Fantasy XV expansion Episode: Ignis, which follows the most interesting member of Eos’s premier boy-band. I’ve been waiting until all of the companion expansions were out before picking FFXV back up and I’m really looking forward to finding out exactly what happened to my boyfriend beloved chef while Noctis was unconscious.

To be perfectly honest though, most of my December is probably going to be spent playing Okami HD. I’ve purchased pretty much every version of Okami that I can and each time I’ve spent hours and hours lapping up everything the game has to offer. If you like The Legend of Zelda, Bold art styles and Feudal Japan, you are going to love Okami HD. Seriously, do yourself or loved one a favour this Christmas and grab it.