Jorts. Half jeans. Half shorts. Half uncomfortable tightness for the sake of fashion. We’ve all worn them and know of the dangers of getting too excited while sporting a pair. Uncomfortable tightness can become dangerous blood flow constriction in the blink of an eye with the right stimulus. Every month we’ll let you know what games threaten the structural integrity of our collective jorts, feel free to chime in.
October 3rd: Forza Motorsport 7 (Xbox One/PC)
October 3rd: Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen (PS4/Xbox One)
October 11th: Middle Earth: Shadow of War (PS4/Xbox One/PC)
October 12th: Raid: World War 2 (PS4/Xbox One)
October 13th: The Evil Within 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC)
October 17th: Elex (PS4/Xbox One/PC)
October 17th: South Park: The Fractured But Whole (PS4/Xbox one/PC)
October 18th: Gran Turismo Sport (PS4)
October 19th: Age of Empires: Definitive Edition (PC)
October 24th: Road Rage (PS4/Xbox One/PC)
October 24th: Rapala Fishing Pro Series (PS4/Xbox One)
October 24th: Destiny 2 (PC)
October 27th: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (PS4/Xbox one/PC)
October 27th: Assassin’s Creed Origins (PS4/Xbox one/PC)
October 27th: Super Mario Odyssey (Nintendo Switch)
October is month that by sheer force of its heavy hitters should motivate you to buy a pair of jorts (if you don’t have a collection already), just so you can slap them on and then instantly watch them explode at the seams. Every week of October will see some crazy AAA monsters come out of the closet and demand you pay the jorts toll, and pay it you shall. So what’s got the DYEGB team tight in the denim pantaloons this month?
Alrighty, what disaster waiting to happen am I going to hype up this month? It’s a little tricky given all the AAA titles that October is laden with, however I am always up for the challenge of finding the next bomb. The first cab off the rank is Shadow of War, which if it’s anything like its predecessor (apparently it is) then it’s going to be an orc-some experience… Next up is Raid, which according to its early Steam reviews is a contender for turd of month (watch this space). After that we’ve got The Evil Within 2, which is my second most anticipated game of the year (I loved the original despite its ridiculous ending). Hopefully it brings the scares and requires a change of jorts midway through. Later this month we finally get our hands on Road Rage, the Road Rash inspired racer from Maximum Games (Troll and I), whose history would suggest that it’s going to err on the side of terrible, but I have faith where others don’t. Rounding out October we’ve got Assassin’s Creed: Origins, which will have my jorts taut despite their high Egyptian cotton thread count. And last but not least we have my most anticipated game of the year: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus. The New Order is currently my favourite game this generation and I can’t wait to dual-wield whatever weapon I can and kill a fuckton of Nazis again.
What a month October is for games! Oh my lordy, I’ve got AAA titles coming out of my ears, where will I find the time? Actually, funnily enough, I have annual leave booked for Shadow of War so that I can hit the ground running. As a self-confessed Lord of the Rings fanatic my ‘tight in the lady jorts’ piece is going to be mostly about praising how incredible this game is going to be. I watched quite a bit of gameplay when I went to E3 this year and the upgraded nemesis system and skill tree has me incredibly excited. I’m honestly just such a huge fan of Warner’s combat system so similarly done in the Batman Arkham series. There is a bit of everything this month and quenching my horror thirst is The Evil Within 2. I was a huge fan of The Evil Within so I’ll definitely give the sequel a go in hopes I can finish this one off by myself this time (I’m not ashamed to say that that game scared me big time). We’ve also got the next Assassin’s Creed, and after a two-year break I’m super keen to get up close and personal with some Egyptian pyramids. Despite everyone moaning and groaning about Assassin’s Creed games and how they’ve had enough, I am actually a huge fan of the series with their latest (Syndicate) being probably one of my favorites. Last but not least I am all bright eyed and bushy tailed for the latest Bubsy remake. I played the original on the SNES and on my PlayStation when I was a kid and it tore me apart when my mother sold it on me, here’s hoping it’s a good old trip down nostalgia lane.
I don’t care what anyone says to you about anything next month, it’s not going to be as good as two of the games on the list. I don’t even care if you get a freshly laundered pair of solid gold jorts, they won’t be as good as South Park: The Fractured But Whole and Age of Empires: Definitive Edition. They won’t, so stop arguing. The first South Park did things to my loins. Maybe it was because I was cooped up in a tiny container in the middle of the sweltering Middle East heat or maybe it was because it was a bloody great game. I mean, I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you. Despite The Stick of Truth being censored out the butt whole (see what I did there?), it was still an awesome game, and now we’re set for the sequel, completely uncensored! If you haven’t played the first, get to it before the next one releases! The other game I mentioned, AoE, is probably, nay is, my favourite game series of all time. But it’s not because they’re flawless games (they’re not). They just happen to be in my favourite genre and the experiences I have had with all three are some I can never forget. I’ll be getting all the way around the Definitive Edition, there’s no doubt about it. Hot dayum, October makes my jorts tight.
I am genuinely, massively, terribly excited for Wolfenstein: New Colossus. My Nazi punching quota has been woefully low for such a long time, and the idea of strapping on some new heavy metal and dropping LSD suits me down to the ground. I am so excited for the sequel I am actually going to gear up and smash through the original game (The New Order) to reacquaint myself with everyone’s favourite heavy set ubermensch, B.J. Blazkowicz, to really set the mood right. It’s the 2017 gaming equivalent of lighting a few candles. I am also keen to possibly blast out a replay of the original South Park gaming experience The Stick of Truth before my Butthole gets sufficiently Fractured. And Jesus Christ, the Shadow of Mordor sequel drops this month? How the hell do I fit THAT into my busy schedule? I’ll need to play while I sleep, or at least while I take a dump – to uh, maximise time.
October is usually a big month for everybody, which means it’s too big for me. Just when I think I might be enjoying two sequels to my favourite games of 2014 (Shadow of War and South Park: The Fractured But Whole), the 28th of October hits me with a hat trick. Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus looks even better than its surprisingly good predecessor and Assassin’s Creed: Origins is aiming to win everyone over with its Egyptian setting and revamped RPG mechanics. However, the crowning jewel I am impatiently waiting for is Super Mario Odyssey, the king of 3D platformers. Yes, get ready to be forgotten Knack and Lucky’s Tale.
Come at me October
Oh boy. Chock-tober or what? This coming month has me fantastically snug in the crotch region of my acid-washed denim jorts. Let’s forget for a moment that the remaster of last-gen darling, Dragon’s Dogma is happening. Let’s also ignore the satirical behemoth that is South Park: The Fractured But Whole. Hell, let’s for a moment pretend that we aren’t getting a brand new, kick-ass Wolfenstein game AND what looks to be the best Assassin’s Creed title in a long time. Let’s somehow put all of those (and more) aside and allow one simple truth to soak into our mind-jorts: Super Mario Odyssey is out this month. It’s real, it’s here, it’s happening. It’s been seven years since the last best Mario game, Super Mario Galaxy 2, made us all soil our collective dacks, and now here we are again. Not only does Odyssey look set to be the best core Mario game of all time, I’m convinced it’ll go down as one of my all-time favourites. Pop a squiz at my recent hands-on preview and you’ll hopefully understand what I mean.
Seriously, though. Who decided that it was okay to release arguably the three biggest games of October on the same day? I’m gonna have a lot of dry cleaning to do come November.
In the immortal words of Green Day, wake me up when September ends because I have been sleeping on these October releases! When I finally pulled myself away from Destiny 2 and saw what was coming out this month, my jorts just about tore clean in half. First up for me is Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen a fantastic action RPG that feels a bit like the original Dragon Age with a great twist on the companion mechanic. I started playing it on PS3 just before I bought my PS4 so it’s definitely something I’m looking forward to getting back into, but only until Middle Earth: Shadow of War smashes its way into my life.
If I have a moment, I’d love to check out South Park: The Fractured But Whole and Age of Empires: Definitive Edition, but they both pale in comparison to the three-headed hydra that looms at the end of the month that threatens to consume all my money, spare time and social life.
I’m cautiously optimistic about Assassin’s Creed: Origins because it seems as though Ubisoft may have listened to fan feedback and improved on some of the things that were making previous instalments feel too formulaic.
Finally, we come to the almighty Super Mario Odyssey, the other game that convinced me to buy a Nintendo Switch. The last Super Mario game I played was Sunshine and so I missed out on the apparently amazing Galaxy series, but I’m hoping that Odyssey is going to more than make up for that. From the little that I’ve seen, it looks as though it’s primed to make me feel like I’m eight years old again and sitting in front of my beloved Nintendo 64.
After a couple of leaner gaming months for myself personally, October is looking like the most exciting and gaming intensive month of this year. The Evil Within 2 will be the first game I’ll be jumping into this month, as I’ve opted to leave Middle Earth: Shadow of War alone until I 100% Shadow of Mordor (being a trophy whore sucks at times). The Evil Within 2 has had me captivated and intrigued since its amazing E3 reveal trailer, and if the game can provide an experience greater than or equal to the original, I’m sure it will be one of my favourite games to release in the year of 2017. South Park: The Fractured But Whole is another title I expect to put a significant amount of time into, having enjoyed what the Stick of Truth did back in 2014. The game also won’t be censored in Australia this time, meaning our Aussie eyes can finally see the South Park games at their over-the-top best. The rest of my month will be awaiting the release of Assassin’s Creed: Origins, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus and Super Mario Odyssey, which funnily enough RELEASE ON THE SAME BLOODY DAY! October 27th is going to be a batshit crazy day, a day in which i’ll be exploring Egypt, Killing Nazi’s, and throwing a hat at Dinosaurs and other objects as a fat little Italian man. October is nuts, but I can’t wait for it to arrive, a man’s jorts can only get so tight.
t’s a good month to kill Nazis. My future GOTY Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus smashes into our systems this month, along with some other heavy hitters. I don’t really give two shits though, because goddamn it’s a good month to kill Nazis. The latest big title for the Nintendo Switch – Super Mario Odyssey – is probably one I’ll play on the systems my friends own. Age of Empires: Definitive Edition is another must-play for me this month, as I cut my strategic teeth on that series. Did I mention that October will be a fucking good month to kill Nazis oh my God I can’t wait
While I have infinite respect for my colleagues at DYEGB, I feel that they’ve completely missed October’s dark horse (fish?): Rapala Fishing Pro Series. While the world has FPS and RPGs coming out of its proverbials on a weekly basis, few developers have been brave enough to bring the edge-of-your-seat thrill ride that is fishing into the digital space. You guys can throw your hats in Super Mario Odyssey and climb your radio towers in Assassin’s Creed, I’ll be over here purse seining to bag a fat trevally in the crystal clear waters of eastern Hawaii.
What games are you looking forward to this October? Did we miss anything important coming out this month? Let us know in the comments below.
