Jorts. Half jeans. Half shorts. Half uncomfortable tightness for the sake of fashion. We’ve all worn them and know of the dangers of getting too excited while sporting a pair. Uncomfortable tightness can become dangerous blood flow constriction in the blink of an eye with the right stimulus. Every month we’ll let you know what games threaten the structural integrity of our collective jorts, feel free to chime in.
With September’s sweaty sports jorts now safely tucked in the bottom of a gym bag to fester for a year, we look forward to October’s offerings. The middle of the month is obviously going to be an interesting time as we’ll see the launch of the much-vaunted PlayStation VR and an impressive array of launch titles to go with it. It remains to be seen whether the gaming populace flocks to virtual reality jorts or will be content to remain with the more traditional physical variation.
October 7th: Mafia 3 (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 7th: Paper Mario: Color Splash (Wii U)
October 10: 100ft Robot Golf (PS4, PSVR)
October 11: Gears of War 4 (Xbox One)
October 11: Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary World Tour (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 11: Rise of the Tomb Raider: 20 Year Celebration (PS4)
October 11: WWE 2K17 (PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One)
October 11: Metal Gear Solid 5: The Definitive Experience (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 11: Dragon Quest Builders (PS4, Vita)
October 13: PlayStation VR
October 13: Driveclub VR (PSVR)
October 13: Rez Infinite (PS4, PSVR)
October 13: Shadow Warrior 2 (PC)
October 21: Battlefield 1 (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 21: Civilization 6 (PC)
October 25: Dark Souls 3: Ashes of Ariandel DLC (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 25: World of Final Fantasy (PS4, PSVita)
October 25: Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 28: Titanfall 2 (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October 28: The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim Special Edition (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
October: Batman: Arkham VR (PSVR)
September was just the matinee to this year’s impending blockbuster months. Make no mistake, October is chock-a-block full of AAA heavy-hitters, however possibly the biggest release this month is the PlayStation VR headset release. Although I am not fully sold on the tech, I am keen to see just how good (or bad) it is and how luscious my jorts look in virtual reality. Like every bit of tech it is sure to improve over time, however, I think PS VR will need a very strong launch (all signs point to that being highly likely) for it to become a real player in the consumer gaming space. Here They Lie, Until Dawn: Rush of Blood and Robinson: The Journey are three VR titles I am keen to check out. Mafia III also has my jorts slightly tightened, as does Titanfall 2 and Battlefield 1.
October looks to be a massive month for me as I get back to gaming right in the middle of it. One of the biggest titles for me would have to be Gears of War 4. The Gears series is one of my personal favourites and I’ve struggled to find a game that does the cover combat system better. Rise of the Tomb Raider is up there too, even though I don’t think it’s really Tomb Raider aside from the fact that Lara Croft is in it. Nonetheless it’ll be one that I’ll be banking some time with. Civilization 6 is most definitely on my list as well. Dark Souls 3 will also receive its first DLC with Ashes of Ariandel and that has me so excited. There hasn’t been a bad piece of DLC released by FromSoftware, and the last DLC they produced which was for Booodborne was superb beyond words. Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 has me tight too as I love DBZ, playing as Krillin and making him not useless has always been a pleasure of mine. And finally, we have the Skyrim remaster. “Jordan, but you hate remasters,” yes I know. But mods without having to game on PC is too enticing not to have a dig. TL;DR: my wallet is going to have a bad month.
There is only one game likely to get my jorts tighter than three angry goannas in a sock and that game is Titanfall 2. After many hours, weeks and months floating above the ground in the original Titanfall, I had to learn how to make my own jorts on the cheap lest my better half start questioning my frequent late night denim purchases. But seriously, Titanfall was/is one of my favourite FPS of all time; the slick game mechanics and dedicated servers made the game run like a dream. It’s a shame the game didn’t get the attention it deserved, but hopefully going multiplat and including a single-player campaign will rectify that. I’m also interested in how VR goes, but I’m content to sit back and have a look at what people think of it before thinking of purchasing it (would happily take a free one though).
This one’s a no-brainer for me. The original Gears of War on the Xbox360 was a watershed moment for both graphical fidelity on consoles and ball-to-the-walls gritty violence. It introduced the world to stop-and-pop third-person cover-based shooters and its popularity has endured for the better part of a decade. I’m keen as mustard made from Dom’s tomato plants (I’ll admit I have no idea how mustard is made but this seems plausible), and as risky as it might sound I expect these jorts of mine to be torn apart by a combination of excitement and chainsaw bayonets when the fourth numbered entry in the franchise drops October 11.
It’s time for the history buff in me (all of me) to grit its teeth and have some fun. Battlefield 1 launches this month, in all of its historically inaccurate glory. I can’t wait to take to the battlefields of the Somme and Verdun to take part in the battles that would later be called ‘Hell on Earth’, gunning down Amerikaner and Englanders for the glory of the Kaiser. While I’m doing that, I’ll also be rewriting the war, and all of history, in Civilization VI. I‘ve wasted countless hours of my all-too-precious life in the series, and this should prove to be no exception. Paper Mario: Color Splash has a lot to answer for after the resounding “meh” that Sticker Star garnered, so I’ve got my fingers crossed that it brings the series back from the brink. If you missed it, Metal Gear Solid V’s two games are being released in a handy-dandy bundle, complete with the “whoops out of money” ending. I loved MGSV a great deal, so I highly recommend it even if you’re new to the series. There’s a lot of remasters this month, and one catches my eye in particular: Duke Nukem 3D. Slaughtering alien punks and rescuing babes was fun as Hell back in the day, and it still is. Hail to the king, baby!
Oh boy, what a month we have for October! My jorts are certainly at capacity as I salivate at the thought of sinking my teeth into Battlefield 1, Mafia III and World of Final Fantasy. I’m also excited to return to the Civilisation series after quite the hiatus with the sixth entry. PSVR is going to an interesting event and I look forward to trying the peripherals out (thanks housemate Zach). I have a soft spot for Call of Duty as well, so rather keen to try out the next instalment and am hyped to replay a remastered COD4, one of my favourite FPS games ever!