Baldur’s Gate 3’s Massive Patch Uplifts Short Kings, Makes It Harder To Accidentally Boink Gale

The very first major patch has been released for Baldur’s Gate 3 and it is a behemoth. Legit, the notes for such a beast have actually managed to exceed Steam’s character limit for listing all the details – it is just that massive.

While the notes contain all manner of amazing fixes (and a ton of spoiler-iffic context to understand what is being fixed, so read at your own peril) there are also some fantastic changes for our short kings, and those who wanted to friendzone Gale but managed to accidentally bed him anyway.

Patch #1 is now live for Baldur's Gate 3, addressing over 1000 bugs, glitches, and blockers.

An update so large it actually exceeded Steam's text limit, read more: https://t.co/aAxUxvZOQ2 pic.twitter.com/mvMxcNvGvn

— Baldur's Gate 3 (@baldursgate3) August 25, 2023

A non-spoiler-y highlight is the improvements to kissing options for characters playing as short races. The devs themselves probably explain it best:

We’re bringing back Short King Summer with better kissing contact for short races!

If that isn’t the uplift (heh) that our short brethren needed, I am not sure what is. Then, there is a hilarious set of details regarding a certain ravenous spellcaster.

Gale is a companion in Baldur’s Gate 3 – I need not share much more information than that, for any who have not encountered him. Gale is a cool dude, but many have noticed that getting into his daks is easy to the point of hilarity. Many have ended up bedding Gale by pure accident; left wondering what on earth they said or did that resulted in such rampant lustful passion:

I am loving Baldur's Gate 3 so much, but Gale makes me feel unsafe...dude can't take no for an answer pic.twitter.com/J37JcCbJ3t

— Misfit (@Misfit1975) August 19, 2023

Bro, Baldur's Gate 3 is fucking wild. I'm out here trying to see if I can get with Astarion, but then Gale starts propositioning me IMMEDIATELY after fighting a bunch of shadow zombie guys.

— Sam 🔞 (@MisterBaman) August 25, 2023

Me being a fool: sure can’t wait to finally play Baldur’s Gate and romance Astarion

Gale: pic.twitter.com/LV5u5xuxWe

— Angela (งᵒ̌皿ᵒ̌)ง⁼³₌₃ (@Taek_me_out) August 21, 2023

Well, Larian Studios has you covered. No longer will people randomly end up twisted like a pretzel in the embrace of Gale – at least not without having deliberately actioned such a thing, with some changes being made to his interactions to make it a bit more obvious that you are heading to pound town:

• Made it less ambiguous that you’re starting a romance with Gale when choosing certain dialogue options.
• During Gale’s <SPOILER> scene, you now have the option to picture a future with Gale that falls somewhere in between kissing him and kicking him in the head.

While it’s fun to spotlight the funnier romance options, it also bears mentioning that the notes are absolutely teeming with fixes and balance items to make the game just overall a better experience. Soft-locks, missing interactions – even major showstopper issues have been addressed and fixed. As said above, the notes as they appear on the Steam page actually managed to exceed the text limit available; resulting in Larian Studios mirroring an even more robust listing of changes on their website.

A cursory scroll through the dot points is quite the task, with the Steam offering making use of it’s hidden text feature to at least obscure spoiler items. Is it worth a read? Sure, but maybe employ the CTRL+F method to seek out any particular issue that may be impacting you; lest you get an eyeful of spoiler candy.

With that, I will leave you with perhaps my favourite patch note item:

• You can now opt to respect the privacy of the bugbear and the ogre outside the Blighted Village again. Don’t get in the way of real love.

Poetry.

Had a chance to check out Baldur’s Gate 3 yet? If you are still on the fence, our very own Jordan Garcia gave it a very well deserved 10 in his review, so it’s definitely considered a certified banger.

Experienced any bugs in Baldur’s Gate 3 that have now been squashed? What about the romantic onslaught of Gale? Let us know in the comments or on social media.