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That Flappy Bird Revival Is Not As Wholesome As You Think

It sucks arse, actually

Gaming news has been dire of late. Really it’s been awful for a good long while – so a simple headline like FLAPPY BIRD IS RETURNING TO PHONES should be a light in the eternal darkness, right?

Well first, some backstory. Flappy Bird was a mobile game developed by Vietnamese video game artist and programmer Dong Nguyen – the concept was simple, tap the screen (flap) to increase a birds altitude and navigate a maze of pipes. It was fiendishly simple, but devilishly fun to master – and it had the world enraptured.

Right up until Dong Nguyen decide that his creation was a blight on our world, and decided to remove it from app stores.

So Flappy Bird vanished from the mobile space (only it didn’t, those who downloaded it could keep it – and dozens of imitations appeared) and all was somewhat well. It was a fun memory from over a decade ago.

But then yesterday, an announcement rocked the gaming public to their very core – Flappy Bird was coming back.

Finally, some good news. In a reality where games are dying with weeks of their release, video game films are box office busting in record time and literally thousands and thousands of hard working game industry employees are ending up unemployed, this one little nugget of news must surely be here to warm our hearts and souls.

Only nope, even a surface level poke at the intentions behind this rebirth of the feathered friend shows that it is likely rotten to the core.

Many diligent denizens of the net immediately saw red flags – firstly, that the actual trademark for “Flappy Bird” was acquired through unethical methods – transferring ownership of it to a company called “Gametech, Holdings LLC” by way of a court document that claimed that the property had been abandoned, so they could acquire with zero investment. So OG dev Dong Nguyen wasn’t getting paid or even remotely acknowledged. Only he kind of was, when the new developers claimed he was a hack anyway – but more on that later.

A little digging into Gametech, Holdings LLC revealed that they are one of those new age companies that love making NFT/Crypto/Blockchain guff – most famous for their NFT called (and I wish this was a gag) Deez Nut NFT. So, of course someone on Twitter found reference to $FLAPToken on the Flappy Bird website – meaning this rebirth is already steeped in gross Web3 dealings. Even the spin that “Fans acquired the game’s official trademark” ring extra hollow when you consider that basically every classic brand that has returned of late has been a Weekend at Bernie’s style corpse puppet.

But that hasn’t stopped dozens of gaming news outlets dropping a quick “Yay Flappy Bird Is Back” headline. Like, I get it. Times are hard – we desperately cling to anything positive like Rose on a Titanic door.

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But honestly, this aint it chief.

So in the post-revelation threads, discussion has obviously been leveraged as to how deep this cringe worthy rabbit hole goes – and it is rife with depressing factoids. The new developers are claiming that what they are doing is benevolent, because “Dong Nguyen was a copycat anyway” due to Flappy Bird being quite similar to another title called Piou Piou vs. Cactus – and they are aiming to work with the Piou Piou developer to “make everything right”. So they are using weird blockchain-necromancy to right a cosmic wrong? The motivations are entirely noble? Still not really buying it.

Really the best words are offered by coolguy dev Sam Chiet, who said the following:

So I am sorry to bear the bad news. The entire piece is a bummer, but it’s worth knowing where your excitement is stemming from when you gather at the watering hole and discuss it. Maybe you dig the idea of $FLAPToken going to the moon – all the power to you.

Just don’t pretend this is Flappy Bird returning. Because it isn’t.

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Written By Ash Wayling

Known throughout the interwebs simply as M0D3Rn, Ash is bad at video games. An old guard gamer who suffers from being generally opinionated, it comes as no surprise that he is both brutally loyal and yet, fiercely whimsical about all things electronic. On occasion will make a youtube video that actually gets views. Follow him on YouTube @Bad at Video Games

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